New Priorities {May 11, 2015}

     Hi!  I'm fully aware of all the gaps I'm leaving in my children's memories by neglecting this blog, but today I found a new priority in recording them. Blogging has forever been a "spare time" activity for me, and therefore it NEVER happens. This afternoon my mom, sis-in-law Kristina and someone from church (yeah, church is new for me too, it's on my list to share) came over to work on family history. As we're going over websites and learning how to connect the dots, I felt totally overwhelmed. I realize the importance of having family records and also know that I just can't find the time to do it. Things like this remind me of the ever-waiting blog that I continue to neglect. Candy reminded me that family history is the here and now also, and recording things for our children is just as important. I know, it's something that I am all too aware of given all the pictures I take for that exact reason, but I just needed a reality check that blogging (which turn into our family yearbooks) is more than a "free time" activity. I need to make it more of a priority for my girls and future generations.

 Last week, we had a women's conference at church that was wonderful and inspirational. One challenge I was given was to find 10 minutes a day, every single day, to do something for me. Well... blogging it will be. I came to the computer tonight and found this long lost draft of a post. Ha ha! So, I'm going to share a few recent pics of the girls and go ahead and post some thoughts from October of last year. Next on the agenda will be to best describe Scarlett and all her favorite things so she remembers her childhood. Ha ha!


October 20, 2014: 
I've tried writing over the last few months, and it feels ridiculously impossible to best sum up the last 6 months (which is a minimum of what's missing from this blog.) So then I just end up with nothing at all. Continuing to leave out memories for my girls that they so deserve to have. I have started picking up the real camera more, and we just bought a new video camera, but my iPhone and Instagram have been my way of updating others on pictures from our crazy life. So. I'm going to just start from today so I don't completely overload myself and meltdown, haha. Yesterday we had Reagan's 6th birthday party at our house, and it was great. She has been completely obsessed with Wild Kratts since this summer so we got her a creature power suit and had a Wild Kratt cake. With her number of friends growing, we decided just to have a painting party at our house with all our family (and Ivy) and then take cupcakes to school tomorrow on her birthday. Right now Nani is downstairs with the girls setting up the china cabinet she brought over yesterday. Reagan has been so excited about it, she wanted to move stuff in last night at the party instead of opening presents. She is my daughter. ; ) Here I go again, wanting to delete what I've written because it's such a tiny piece of our lives that it doesn't begin to express or describe our family at the moment. How about this... Love, time together, family, learning, teaching, pictures, fun & friends. That's what's important in our little bubble. It's hard to fit everything in, if only I didn't have to sleep! I really could use those extra 6 hours a day. I actually think... I might have lost myself to motherhood. I was forever changed when I was given these wonderful gifts, which have brought me more joy than anything ever could. I cannot imagine life without them, or even what having "free time" means. Haha! I am with the girls 24/7 unless I'm shooting. What's weird is when we have an afternoon apart I can feel they've gotten out of sorts when I get home. I really am the calming, steady, support they lean to and I swear know every mood before it hits. They have their share of arguments like any siblings, but they seem to overall do better with the steady routines and the predictability of having me around. I'm afraid my mind has begun to cloud over and even now, (with the rare time away form the girls) I'm still wondering about lunch, if they're arguing, are they listening, are they keeping food off the couch, are they being challenged, and they better not be on any screens. That has been a battle lately and they're so much happier when they only have a little TV time a day. I've decided to give up on the iPad altogether, it makes them ridiculously cranky. Every mother knows you have to be two steps ahead, so my mind is never to myself, even now! Don't get me wrong, I looove ever part of being a mother, but... I'll just say it's the hardest job in the WHOLE WORLD. No other job for me will ever amount to what I am doing right now. I wonder all the time if I'm doing enough, or handling things right. Was I too firm? But I don't want be a push-over.? Am I setting a good example, teaching them what's important in life? How much should I push her with school work? She's capable of so much, but I don't want to loose her love of learning. Balancing diets, appointments, handling customer calls and orders, running a business, opening a studio, paying bills, planning vacations... Okay I got carried away, but seriously. Then we have to keep a clean house! A mom's mind is in so many things all at one time. The multi-tasking abilities women have is incredible. I toss these thoughts all the time, and I despise the evenings I feel my patience wearing thin. Every night, after the girls are asleep and I finally get a shower, I think back at how I need to be more patient with them. I saw a video once of mothers being interviewed and asked to describe themselves as a parent. The majority did what I'm sadly doing, pointing out things they should do better and expressing doubt in they're decisions. Then the table flipped to interviewing the children about what they think of their moms. They were the sweetest, most adoring interviews that would make any mom feel like Superwoman. Oh how I hope that my girls grow up to be strong women and always know how much they are loved. Pete and I have devoted ourselves to each other and this family, to make the best life for them we know how. It's all we can do as parents! Try and love. Next I'll start working on a letter to both of the girls.